Student contribution: Patricia Clarke
A Damages Incurred correspondent found local Deakin law student, Melissa
Waters, having a moment at the Level 7 microwaves this afternoon.
“I just don’t understand what the buttons mean,” she said tiredly. “Like, this
one is green but doesn’t make it start? It just keeps turning off.” She sighed
and surreptitiously wiped away a tear. “I’m just going to do it in 30 second
Researchers with an excess of funding have discovered that law students
have the lowest rates of technological literacy among the entire Deakin
student body, perhaps explaining the backlog at the microwaves this
afternoon. However, we were not able to obtain a student quote as to this
matter, since every law student asked was unable to comprehend a situation
wherein Law students were not inherently superior to Arts students.
Our reporter’s concerns about the growing queue behind Melissa were
summarily dismissed by the woman in question.
“Yeah, don’t remind me. I refuse to turn around,” she said. “Can’t they see I
have bigger problems?”
Our correspondent cut the interview short to run to a seminar, but was able
to catch up with Melissa later – allegedly trying out the Basement 1