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Local Law Student Brought To Tears Over New LC Microwaves

Student contribution: Patricia Clarke

A Damages Incurred correspondent found local Deakin law student, Melissa

Waters, having a moment at the Level 7 microwaves this afternoon.

“I just don’t understand what the buttons mean,” she said tiredly. “Like, this

one is green but doesn’t make it start? It just keeps turning off.” She sighed

and surreptitiously wiped away a tear. “I’m just going to do it in 30 second


Researchers with an excess of funding have discovered that law students

have the lowest rates of technological literacy among the entire Deakin

student body, perhaps explaining the backlog at the microwaves this

afternoon. However, we were not able to obtain a student quote as to this

matter, since every law student asked was unable to comprehend a situation

wherein Law students were not inherently superior to Arts students.

Our reporter’s concerns about the growing queue behind Melissa were

summarily dismissed by the woman in question.

“Yeah, don’t remind me. I refuse to turn around,” she said. “Can’t they see I

have bigger problems?”

Our correspondent cut the interview short to run to a seminar, but was able

to catch up with Melissa later – allegedly trying out the Basement 1


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