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This just in: 3rd Year Law Student still talking about his ATAR

Jack Enticott

As law students settle back into their studies, many penultimate year students have their minds firmly set on clerkship applications.

Yet, unlike his peers, Jonathan Rowe doesn’t seem so concerned.

The bright young man, who graduated from Middleton Grammar in 2017, appears to be more concerned with reflecting on his impressive high school career.

Sources close to Jonathon have suggested that Jonathon was overheard dropping his ATAR score into a conversation. Rachel Lewis, who was involved in the conversation, says she had been talking about the time she smoked a cigarette behind the portable classrooms in Year 10 before Jonathon hijacked the conversation.

“Yeah, I did pretty well in high school. I don’t mean to brag but I pretty much aced my exams. You should’ve seen my Dad’s face when he heard I got 97.6.”

When asked to comment, Jonathan proceeded to humble brag about his score, before asking our journalists what ATAR they got.

Our reporters spoke to Daniel Graham, who didn’t receive the score he had hoped for, but transferred from Arts into Law at the end of his first trimester.

“Jono’s being a massive pain. It’s like he thinks his ATAR still counts for something. I literally scored 14 points lower than him, yet I’m sitting in the same lecture theatre as he is. He’s not being subtle about it either. I’ve heard him ask at least 20 different people what they got since the start of the trimester. We shouldn’t all have to suffer just because the bloke peaked at age 17.”

Our reporters have also discovered that Jonathon’s resume consists purely of high school awards.

“Apparently he got the Kirk-Griffiths Prize for Leadership, whatever that means. It also says he was House Captain. There’s no actual work experience on here though.”

More to come.



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