Jack Enticott
Brooke Tambry’s day was not off to a good start when she was abruptly yanked out of her slumber by the obnoxious blaring of her 9:30 AM alarm. She cursed herself for enrolling in the 10 AM seminar.
Despite the nagging temptation to quit her law degree and fall back into a blissful snooze, Brooke willed herself out of her covers and into the shower.
Coffee in hand, Brooke returned to her dark room just in time for her online seminar. Yet, as she pulled open the curtains and logged into Zoom, even she was appalled by her background.
An unkempt bed, a desk covered by empty water bottles and coffee mugs, and a floor littered with cried-in tissues, popcorn packets and countless articles of worn clothing were visible to all of Brooke’s classmates. For the first time in months, Brooke was confronted with the true extent of her despicable laziness.
We spoke to Brooke’s friend and classmate, Bonnie Hark, about the matter.
“She’s been bombarding my Instagram feed with photos from her trip to Europe last year, her quarantine walks and her healthy breakfasts. I thought she was thriving. I had no idea things had gotten this bad.”
In a state of hurried panic, Brooke slammed her laptop closed and piled months worth of debris onto her desk, positioning them behind her laptop so as to make them invisible to her fellow students.
Still bothered by the results of months of neglect, Brooke swapped the pyjama shirt she’d been wearing for 19 days straight and brushed her hair for the first time in recent memory. Feeling better about herself, she logged back into Zoom and watched the remainder of her seminar.
“I’ve really let myself go. I’ve gone outside once this month and, even then, I only left the house so I could film myself walking along the beach for my story. I’ll be better from now on”.
We’ve been informed Brooke was spotted laying on her couch, watching The Bachelor and embracing a pint of Ben and Jerry’s that very afternoon. Let’s hope the situation improves.
