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Breakthrough: Researchers Confirm Osmosis is Fake! Is this the end for sleeping on your textbook?

Student Contribution: Zoe Ellis

It’s a common sight. Entering the law library on a Thursday before the exam period starts, and there’s six or seven scattered students in various states of disarray. You can always count on seeing at least one student asleep atop their books. A recent survey of DLSS member showed that 98% said they slept on top of textbooks for one reason: Osmosis.

For those Damages Incurred readers who are not caught up to date with their science classes, osmosis was thought to be the process through which material is absorbed via contact. In the cases of law students, it was thought that sleeping on top of text-books was a reliable way to absorb that content.

Recently, however, researchers at a prominent Melbourne University released a landmark study which disproves the osmosis theory.

“I’m just devastated,” reported Evelyn Proster, when she found out the news. “I don’t know what I’m meant to do now. My friend said I should do this thing where I read the book? But I don’t know, it just seems wrong.”

“We were lied to. That’s what it comes down to.” penultimate student Amali Graves told our correspondent. “I think the University should consider a curve for exams given the circumstances.”

Deakin University has not responded to our request for comment on this matter.

For now, we are left to wonder: what science will take from us? Your guess is as good as mine.

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